Project – The Taboo of Divorce and Remarriage in Christianity and the Challenge of Domestic Pressure in Rivers State.

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

1.1. Background of the study

The concept of divorce and remarriage in Christianity is deeply intertwined with theological doctrines, cultural expectations, and social norms. Traditional Christian teachings often view marriage as a sacred and indissoluble covenant between a man and a woman, grounded in the biblical texts of the Old and New Testaments. In many denominations, particularly within Evangelical and Pentecostal communities, divorce is viewed as a sin, with remarriage after divorce seen as further violating divine laws. According to Matthew 19:6, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder,” which has historically been interpreted to mean that divorce is unacceptable unless there is adultery or abandonment (Matthew 19:9) (Barton, 2014). Thus, the taboo against divorce and remarriage is rooted not only in religious doctrine but also in an ecclesiastical desire to preserve the sanctity of the marital union.

However, the application of these religious norms can vary greatly across different Christian communities, especially in culturally diverse settings like Rivers State, Nigeria. Rivers State is known for its vibrant religious landscape, with a majority of its population identifying as Christians, but also influenced by indigenous cultural practices and beliefs. This intersection of Christianity with indigenous cultural norms often leads to tensions when dealing with issues like divorce. In a study by Okafor (2017), it was noted that while Christianity condemns divorce, indigenous customs, particularly in some ethnic groups within Rivers State, may allow for divorce under certain circumstances such as infidelity or abuse. This cultural flexibility contrasts with the rigidity of Christian teachings on marriage, creating a complex environment for individuals facing marital distress.

The pressure to conform to both religious and cultural expectations regarding marriage can be overwhelming, particularly for women in Rivers State. Traditional gender roles in the region often emphasize the woman’s responsibility to maintain the marriage, even in the face of abuse or infidelity. As a result, women may feel trapped in unsatisfactory or abusive marriages due to the social stigma surrounding divorce. This pressure is compounded by the church’s stance on divorce, which often places blame on the woman, especially in cases where marital failure is perceived to be linked to her perceived inability to maintain the marriage (Okwu, 2020). The challenge of reconciling domestic pressures with religious obligations leads to significant psychological and social strain, as individuals navigate the risk of ostracism within their religious communities while trying to preserve their dignity and personal safety.

In addition to these societal pressures, there is a growing concern about the emotional and psychological toll of remaining in abusive marriages, particularly for women. Studies have shown that domestic violence is a pervasive issue in many parts of Nigeria, including Rivers State, and it often goes unreported due to the fear of social and religious backlash (Obi, 2022). The religious taboo against divorce can discourage victims of domestic violence from seeking help or leaving their marriages, leading to prolonged suffering. The Church’s inability or unwillingness to address the realities of domestic violence further exacerbates this situation. As highlighted by Nwoye (2018), many Christian leaders in Rivers State are often more focused on condemning divorce than providing support for those suffering within their marriages, perpetuating a culture of silence around domestic abuse.

The impact of these religious and social pressures on individuals seeking divorce and remarriage is significant not only on their personal well-being but also on their spiritual lives. Many individuals who are unable to reconcile their personal experiences with the teachings of the Church suffer from spiritual alienation. According to Akpan (2021), divorcees in Rivers State often experience exclusion from church activities, with some even being denied full participation in the sacraments. This exclusion can further perpetuate feelings of guilt and isolation, leading to spiritual disillusionment. The taboo surrounding remarriage is similarly difficult for many individuals to navigate, particularly those who feel compelled to remarry for the sake of their children or personal happiness but fear further condemnation from their religious communities.

Despite the challenges, there has been some movement towards greater understanding and compassion within the Church in recent years. Some pastors and church leaders in Rivers State have begun to emphasize the need for pastoral care and counseling for individuals experiencing marital difficulties. As highlighted by Eze (2023), a growing number of churches are focusing on providing support services, including marriage counseling, rather than simply condemning divorce. This shift reflects a broader trend in Christian circles to recognize the complexity of human relationships and to address the underlying issues that contribute to marital breakdowns, such as domestic abuse, financial strain, and emotional neglect. Nonetheless, the taboo against divorce and remarriage remains a deeply entrenched challenge that continues to shape the lives of many Christians in Rivers State, particularly as they navigate the pressures of both their faith and their cultural context.

1.2. Statement of the problem

In Rivers State, Nigeria, the issue of divorce and remarriage among Christians presents a significant social and religious dilemma. Christianity, with its deep theological roots in the sanctity of marriage, generally condemns divorce, viewing it as a violation of God’s original design for the marital union. Remarriage, especially following divorce, is often considered taboo within many Christian communities, as it is seen as an affront to Biblical teachings. This religious prohibition on divorce and remarriage, however, creates a significant tension for individuals trapped in dysfunctional or abusive marriages, especially when the social and cultural norms of Rivers State often contradict these religious views. Thus, the problem arises from the clash between the doctrinal stance of Christianity and the lived realities of many Christians who face marital challenges, particularly domestic abuse or neglect, and the pressure of adhering to both religious and cultural expectations.

One of the major issues is the rigid enforcement of these religious taboos against divorce, which places significant emotional, psychological, and social strain on individuals experiencing marital difficulties. In Rivers State, many individuals, particularly women, feel compelled to remain in abusive or unfulfilling marriages due to the fear of being ostracized by their religious communities. Women, in particular, face intense social pressure to uphold the sanctity of marriage despite emotional, psychological, or physical abuse from their spouses. The fear of being labeled a “failed” Christian or facing exclusion from church activities makes it difficult for individuals to seek help, report abuse, or even consider divorce as a legitimate option. This pressure contributes to an environment where many suffer in silence, further deepening their personal crises while remaining in toxic relationships.

Furthermore, the stigma surrounding divorce and remarriage extends to remarriage itself, which is often viewed with even greater suspicion. Many Christians in Rivers State believe that remarrying after a divorce constitutes an act of immorality or spiritual disobedience. This belief stems from interpretations of Scripture, particularly the verses in Matthew 19 and Mark 10, which emphasize the permanence of marriage. As a result, divorcees seeking to remarry face significant rejection not only from their religious communities but also from extended family and friends. The fear of further stigmatization, coupled with the absence of adequate church support structures, leaves many individuals isolated and emotionally burdened. The lack of a compassionate response from religious institutions regarding remarriage compounds the difficulty of individuals seeking to rebuild their lives after divorce.

The challenge is further compounded by the broader socio-cultural expectations within Rivers State, which place a heavy emphasis on marriage as the foundation of societal status and personal identity. In many ethnic groups within the state, marriage is not just a personal or religious contract but a social contract that dictates one’s place within the community. Divorce, in this context, becomes not only a personal failure but also a social disgrace, which exacerbates the stigma experienced by divorcees. This societal pressure often forces individuals to endure unhealthy relationships in the interest of maintaining their social standing. For those who choose to leave an abusive or unfulfilling marriage, the consequences can include exclusion from important community events, alienation from family members, and social marginalization. This dynamic creates an environment where the taboo of divorce is not only perpetuated by religious institutions but is deeply ingrained in the social fabric of Rivers State.

Additionally, the existing literature reveals that the Christian Church in Rivers State, while powerful in its influence, has often failed to address the complexities of domestic violence and marital breakdowns in a way that provides practical solutions. Churches predominantly focus on the spiritual aspects of marriage, emphasizing reconciliation, prayer, and forgiveness, without providing adequate counseling or support services for those experiencing domestic violence. Many church leaders are either unwilling or untrained to deal with the realities of abusive relationships, often advising women to stay in marriages and pray for change, even in the face of physical or emotional harm. This lack of practical support leaves individuals with little recourse for navigating marital problems, reinforcing the cycle of abuse and suffering. The Church’s failure to offer a more nuanced and compassionate approach to divorce and remarriage in cases of domestic violence results in the continued marginalization of victims and a perpetuation of the taboo that surrounds divorce and remarriage.

Lastly, the absence of a comprehensive understanding of the psychological and emotional toll that the taboo of divorce and remarriage has on individuals in Rivers State is a key aspect of this problem. Divorcees, especially those from religious backgrounds, often experience a profound sense of guilt, shame, and spiritual alienation due to the condemnation they face within their religious communities. The psychological distress that results from being ostracized, coupled with the struggle to reconcile one’s personal feelings of failure with the Church’s teachings, often leads to long-term emotional and mental health challenges. The Church’s narrow stance on divorce and remarriage, which fails to account for the emotional complexity of relationships, contributes to a culture of judgment and isolation. Therefore, this problem not only affects the immediate well-being of individuals but also perpetuates broader issues of mental health and spiritual disillusionment, which are seldom addressed within the traditional structures of the Christian community in Rivers State.

 

1.3.  Purpose of the study

The purpose of the study is to examine the Taboo of Divorce and Remarriage in Christianity and the Challenge of Domestic Pressure in Rivers State. The specific objectives are:

1. To explore the historical and cultural roots of the taboo of divorce and remarriage in Christianity in Rivers State.
2. To examine the impact of domestic pressure on individuals considering divorce and remarriage in Rivers State.
3. To analyze the role of religious beliefs and practices in shaping attitudes towards divorce and remarriage in Christianity in Rivers State.
4. To identify the challenges faced by individuals who choose to defy the taboo of divorce and remarriage in Rivers State.

 

1.4. Scope of the study

The study examines the Taboo of Divorce and Remarriage in Christianity and the Challenge of Domestic Pressure in Rivers State.

 

1.5. Methodology

This study employed the descriptive survey design. For the purpose of this study, the target population consists of both married and unmarried people in Rivers State. The sample of the study refers to that part of the population that was selected for closer study. To select the needed samples for this study, the researcher used a total number of one hundred (100) married and unmarried people in Rivers State.

 

1.6. Limitation of the study

One of the key limitations of this study is the reliance on self-reported data from participants, which may be influenced by social desirability bias or reluctance to openly discuss sensitive issues such as divorce, remarriage, and domestic violence. In a society where divorce is heavily stigmatized, individuals may be hesitant to share their true experiences for fear of judgment or ostracism from their religious communities and families. This could result in underreporting of the prevalence of domestic abuse or divorce cases, as well as the difficulties associated with remarriage after divorce. Furthermore, the complexity of cultural and religious practices within Rivers State, which differ across ethnic groups, could lead to variations in experiences that may not be fully captured in a uniform study, limiting the generalizability of the findings.

Another limitation is the scope of the study, which is geographically restricted to Rivers State. While the findings may provide valuable insights into the challenges faced by Christians in this region, they may not be fully applicable to other parts of Nigeria or West Africa, where religious and cultural norms may differ. Additionally, the study primarily focuses on the Christian perspective, neglecting the experiences of individuals from other religious or cultural backgrounds who may also face similar challenges regarding marriage, divorce, and remarriage. This narrow focus may limit the understanding of the broader societal dynamics and the role of other religious traditions or secular influences in shaping attitudes toward divorce and remarriage.

 

1.7. Significance of the study

This study is significant because it addresses an important and often overlooked issue in both Christian theology and societal norms in Rivers State, Nigeria: the taboo surrounding divorce and remarriage. By examining how religious teachings and societal expectations intersect and affect individuals’ choices, the study highlights the social, psychological, and spiritual consequences of these prohibitions. In a region where Christianity is the dominant religion and marriage is highly valued as a sacred institution, understanding the implications of these religious and cultural beliefs on marital decisions is essential. The findings of this study could inform clergy, counselors, and policymakers on how best to approach the sensitive issues of marital breakdowns and the challenges of divorce and remarriage, offering a more compassionate and nuanced understanding of the needs of those affected.

The study is also significant in its potential to provide a more comprehensive understanding of the intersection between religion, culture, and domestic pressures. Rivers State, like many parts of Nigeria, is marked by a rich blend of indigenous traditions and Christian practices, creating a unique socio-religious context that shapes the lives of its citizens. While traditional Christian teachings condemn divorce, many ethnic groups within Rivers State have their own customs that may allow for divorce under certain circumstances. By exploring this dynamic, the study illuminates how the clash between Christian religious doctrine and indigenous customs creates a complicated space for individuals navigating marital difficulties. Understanding these cultural nuances is crucial for developing interventions that are culturally appropriate and can effectively address the challenges that people in this region face when dealing with domestic pressures and marital conflicts.

The significance of the study extends to the mental and emotional health of individuals, especially women, who often bear the brunt of the domestic pressures in Christian marriages. Women, in particular, are often socialized to endure marital hardship and prioritize the preservation of marriage, even in the face of abuse or neglect. The study brings attention to the psychological and emotional toll that the stigma of divorce and the expectation to remain in difficult marriages can have on women’s well-being. By exploring the lived experiences of these individuals, the research could provide crucial insights into the mental health challenges they face, such as depression, anxiety, and feelings of isolation. The study’s findings could serve as a foundation for improving support systems, such as counseling services and mental health interventions, to help women and other individuals cope with the emotional fallout of these pressures.

In addition, the study has significant implications for religious institutions, particularly the Christian Church in Rivers State. Many Christian leaders in the region tend to uphold a strict interpretation of Biblical teachings on marriage, often without fully addressing the complexities of domestic abuse or marital dysfunction. The study’s findings could encourage church leaders to reevaluate their approaches to marriage counseling, divorce, and remarriage, promoting a more compassionate, inclusive, and supportive environment for individuals facing marital difficulties. By shedding light on the real-life struggles of Christians in the region, the research may inspire churches to provide more practical and pastoral care, such as marriage enrichment programs, support for victims of domestic violence, and guidance for individuals seeking to rebuild their lives after divorce.

The study is also significant in contributing to the broader discourse on domestic violence and its intersection with religious teachings. Domestic violence is a serious and pervasive issue in many parts of Nigeria, including Rivers State, yet it often goes unreported or ignored due to the social stigma surrounding divorce and the misconception that religious teachings should be the sole guide for resolving marital conflict. By highlighting how the taboo against divorce and remarriage may perpetuate cycles of abuse and prevent individuals from seeking help, this research could serve as a catalyst for broader conversations about the need for institutional reforms, such as the integration of legal and psychological support services within religious communities. It could also advocate for the development of more comprehensive policies that address the protection of women and children from domestic violence while also respecting cultural and religious beliefs.

Lastly, the significance of this study extends to the broader academic and policy-making fields, particularly in the context of religious studies, sociology, and gender studies. By offering a detailed exploration of how Christian teachings, cultural norms, and domestic pressures shape the lives of individuals in Rivers State, the research fills an important gap in the literature on the relationship between religion and gendered experiences in Nigeria. The findings could contribute to the development of more effective policies aimed at reducing the harmful effects of domestic pressures on marriage and family life in religious communities. Furthermore, the study could serve as a model for similar research in other parts of Nigeria and sub-Saharan Africa, where traditional gender roles and religious teachings continue to exert significant influence over individuals’ decisions and experiences regarding marriage, divorce, and remarriage.

 

1.8 Definition of terms

1. Divorce: In the context of this study, divorce refers to the legal dissolution of a marital union, where a married couple formally separates due to irreconcilable differences, infidelity, domestic violence, or other significant marital issues. Divorce is viewed within the study primarily from the Christian religious and cultural perspective, where it is often regarded as a breach of the sacred bond of marriage, especially when not sanctioned by religious teachings.
2. Remarriage: Remarriage is defined as the act of marrying again after having been previously divorced. In the context of Christianity in Rivers State, remarriage following divorce is often viewed as taboo or morally unacceptable, especially if the divorce was not based on reasons such as adultery or abandonment, according to traditional Christian doctrine. This term will focus on the Christian interpretation of remarriage as a social and religious practice in the region.
3. Christianity: Christianity in this study refers to the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ, as outlined in the Bible, particularly within the context of the Christian communities in Rivers State. It encompasses the religious doctrines, beliefs, and practices of various Christian denominations, including Pentecostal, Evangelical, and Catholic churches, which are prevalent in the region. The study particularly focuses on how these communities interpret the Bible’s teachings on marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
4. Taboo: A taboo, in the context of this study, refers to a societal or religious prohibition against a particular practice, behavior, or discussion, based on moral, cultural, or religious beliefs. The taboo surrounding divorce and remarriage in Christianity refers to the strong social and religious aversion or condemnation of divorce and remarriage, particularly after divorce, within Christian communities in Rivers State.
5. Domestic Pressure: Domestic pressure refers to the social, cultural, and familial expectations placed on individuals, particularly in the context of marriage, family life, and gender roles. In this study, domestic pressure specifically refers to the expectation, often felt by women in Rivers State, to maintain the marriage at all costs, despite experiencing emotional, physical, or psychological abuse, due to religious and cultural norms that stigmatize divorce.
6. Domestic Violence: Domestic violence is defined as physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual abuse perpetrated by one partner in a marriage or intimate relationship against the other. In the context of this study, domestic violence refers to the abusive behaviors that individuals in marriage may endure, especially women, within the confines of Christian teachings and cultural norms in Rivers State, where divorce may be prohibited despite the presence of abuse.
7. Marriage: Marriage is defined as a legally or religiously recognized union between two individuals, typically involving a commitment to a shared life and responsibilities, including social, economic, and sexual obligations. In this study, marriage refers to Christian marriages in Rivers State, which are viewed as sacred unions based on religious teachings and social norms.
8. Cultural Norms: Cultural norms in the study refer to the shared values, beliefs, and practices that govern behavior within the various ethnic groups in Rivers State. These norms often influence attitudes toward marriage, divorce, and remarriage, and can either reinforce or challenge Christian teachings on these matters. Cultural norms regarding marriage often vary by ethnic group but generally place high value on marriage as a central aspect of social status and personal identity.
9. Stigma: Stigma in this study refers to the social disapproval, shame, or negative labeling of individuals who have divorced or are considering remarriage, especially within the Christian community in Rivers State. Stigma can lead to the marginalization and exclusion of divorcees, particularly women, from religious and social activities, contributing to feelings of isolation and rejection.
10. Pastoral Care: Pastoral care in this study refers to the support and guidance provided by Christian clergy and religious leaders to individuals and families dealing with marital difficulties, including divorce, remarriage, and domestic pressures. Pastoral care can include counseling, prayer, and advice, but this study focuses on the adequacy and effectiveness of such support in addressing the challenges faced by those affected by the taboo of divorce and remarriage in the Rivers State context.

Project – The Taboo of Divorce and Remarriage in Christianity and the Challenge of Domestic Pressure in Rivers State.