Project – Honeymoon Experiences and Marital Stability among Newly Married Couples: A Study of Selected Christian Couples in Lagos State

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

1.1 Background to the Study

Marriage is one of the most important social institutions through which individuals establish intimate relationships, create families, provide emotional support, and assume responsibilities toward one another and their children. Across cultures, marriage is associated with companionship, affection, commitment, social identity, reproduction, and the continuity of family life. Within the Christian tradition, marriage is regarded not merely as a social arrangement but as a covenantal relationship involving love, faithfulness, mutual responsibility, companionship and commitment before God. The biblical account presents marriage as a union in which a man and a woman become one and establish a relationship characterized by mutual commitment and responsibility (Genesis 2:18–24; Matthew 19:4–6). Consequently, the quality and stability of the marital relationship are important not only to the couple but also to the family and wider society.

The early period of marriage is particularly important because newly married couples move from courtship or engagement into a more permanent form of shared life. During this transition, couples begin to encounter each other in circumstances that may not have been fully experienced during courtship. They must adjust to shared accommodation, financial responsibilities, household duties, sexual intimacy, relationships with extended family members, individual differences, career demands, religious expectations and decisions about childbearing. These realities can influence how couples perceive their marriage and how effectively they adapt to married life. Thus, the early years of marriage provide an important period for understanding the development of marital satisfaction and stability.

One prominent concept associated with the early period of marriage is the honeymoon experience. In popular understanding, the honeymoon refers to the period immediately following marriage when couples experience heightened affection, excitement, intimacy, companionship and positive feelings toward one another. The honeymoon is often associated with romantic activities, travel, celebration, sexual intimacy, relaxation and the enjoyment of newly established marital companionship. However, from a research perspective, the honeymoon experience is broader than a vacation taken after the wedding. It can also refer to the early relational period characterized by high levels of affection, satisfaction, optimism and positive expectations about the marriage.

Research on newlywed couples has demonstrated that marital satisfaction often begins at a relatively high level during the early months of marriage. However, the pattern of change is not identical for all couples. Lorber, Eckardt, Heyman, and O’Leary (2015), for example, examined newlywed couples from shortly before marriage through approximately two and a half years after marriage and found that most couples began marriage with high marital satisfaction. The researchers also found that the pattern was not necessarily one of rapid deterioration. Many women experienced gradual declines while many men maintained relatively stable satisfaction. A smaller group experienced more rapid deterioration, and these less favourable trajectories were associated with factors such as intimate partner violence and depression.

Similarly, Lavner, Bradbury, and Karney (2012) found that newlyweds do not all follow the same pattern of marital satisfaction. Their longitudinal research identified different groups of couples, including couples whose satisfaction remained high, couples with moderate declines and couples who experienced substantial dissatisfaction. Importantly, the study showed that the more distressed groups were associated with poorer marital outcomes and higher divorce rates. This suggests that the honeymoon period should not simply be regarded as a temporary emotional experience that inevitably disappears. Instead, the quality of the early marital relationship may provide useful information about how couples subsequently adjust to marriage.

More recent research has further challenged the assumption that all newly married couples inevitably experience a dramatic decline after the honeymoon. Williamson, Lavner, Bradbury, and Karney (2020) examined marital satisfaction among ethnically diverse newlywed couples living in low-income communities and found that most spouses maintained relatively high levels of satisfaction, while substantial declines were concentrated among a smaller group that began marriage with lower levels of satisfaction. These findings suggest that the honeymoon experience may be an important starting point for understanding marital stability, but it should be examined together with the couple’s communication, conflict-management abilities, expectations, socioeconomic conditions and relationship quality.

The concept of honeymoon experiences is therefore relevant to marital stability because the early emotional and relational experiences of couples may influence their perceptions of marriage. When couples experience affection, emotional security, companionship, sexual satisfaction, appreciation and effective communication, these experiences may strengthen commitment and create positive relational patterns. Conversely, when the early period is characterized by unrealistic expectations, disappointment, frequent disagreements, poor communication, financial pressures or unresolved family interference, the transition from romantic expectations to everyday marital responsibilities may become difficult.

The relationship between marital satisfaction and marital problems is also dynamic. Lavner, Karney, Williamson, and Bradbury (2017), in a longitudinal study involving 483 newlywed couples, found evidence of reciprocal relationships between marital satisfaction and marital problems. Their findings indicated that marital problems predicted subsequent declines in satisfaction, while lower satisfaction could also contribute to later increases in marital problems. This finding is important because it demonstrates that marital stability is not determined by a single factor. Rather, marital satisfaction and marital difficulties can reinforce each other over time.

The honeymoon experience may therefore provide a useful context for examining the development of marital stability. Couples who begin marriage with strong emotional connection may possess relational resources that help them cope with the inevitable challenges of married life. Affection and friendship may encourage spouses to communicate openly, forgive one another and approach disagreements constructively. On the other hand, if the honeymoon experience is based largely on idealized expectations rather than realistic understanding, couples may become disappointed when ordinary responsibilities and differences emerge after the wedding.

Communication is particularly important in this transition. Marriage involves continuous communication about finances, work, sexuality, family relationships, household responsibilities, religion, children and personal needs. Poor communication can produce misunderstanding and resentment, whereas effective communication can help couples negotiate differences and develop mutually acceptable solutions. Nigerian research supports the importance of communication to marital stability. Bruno’s study of married people and marriage counsellors in South-East Nigeria found that communication as a marital conflict-resolution strategy had a significant positive influence on marital stability.

Financial responsibility is another major area of adjustment for newly married couples. During courtship, partners may have separate financial arrangements, but marriage often requires them to make decisions about income, expenditure, savings, housing, investments, family obligations and support for relatives. Differences in financial values or expectations may create tension, particularly where couples have not discussed their financial expectations before marriage. The honeymoon experience may initially obscure these practical issues because the early period of marriage is often dominated by celebration and romantic attention. As everyday financial responsibilities increase, however, the couple’s ability to negotiate and manage these issues can become important to marital stability.

Sexual adjustment is also an important dimension of the early marital experience. Newly married couples may enter marriage with different expectations about sexual intimacy, frequency, affection, fertility and reproductive decisions. Where such expectations have not been openly discussed, differences may produce dissatisfaction. Esere, Emmanuel Alayande, and Iruloh (2017), in a Nigerian study of newly married adults, identified sexual incompatibility among the factors associated with marital instability. This demonstrates that the early marital period requires more than romantic affection; couples must develop the capacity to understand and negotiate different emotional, physical and relational needs.

Family and cultural expectations may also influence the transition from honeymoon experiences to ordinary married life. Nigerian marriage often involves not only the couple but also parents, siblings, relatives and other members of the extended family. Expectations concerning respect for parents, financial assistance to relatives, residence, childbearing, household responsibilities and gender roles can affect the marital relationship. These expectations may sometimes differ between spouses because they come from different family backgrounds. A couple may therefore enjoy a positive honeymoon period while simultaneously facing underlying issues that become more visible as they begin to function as a family unit.

The Nigerian context makes the study of marital stability particularly relevant. Animasahun and Fatile (2011), in their study of married couples in Lagos, investigated patterns of marital instability and highlighted the need for professional marriage counselling and assessment. Their research is particularly relevant to the present study because it was conducted in Lagos and demonstrates that marital instability is a significant issue deserving attention from counsellors and other professionals.

Premarital and early-marriage preparation can also influence how couples experience the transition from romance to everyday marital life. Although honeymoon experiences occur after marriage, the expectations and skills that couples bring into marriage are often formed before the wedding. Premarital education may provide couples with opportunities to discuss communication, conflict management, expectations, finances, intimacy, family relationships and commitment before these issues become sources of serious conflict. Fawcett, Hawkins, Blanchard, and Carroll (2010), in a meta-analytic study of premarital education programmes, found evidence that such programmes can produce positive effects on relationship quality and related outcomes. Similarly, Hawkins, Stanley, Blanchard, and Albright (2012) found that marriage and relationship education programmes can have beneficial effects, although the magnitude of effects may vary according to programme characteristics and participant factors.

The importance of preparation is also evident in Nigerian Christian contexts. Bawa (2018) examined premarital counselling among the Evangelical Reformed Church of Christ and the Alago indigenous marriage-preparation system in Nigeria. The study argued that neither system, operating independently, was sufficient to address all the challenges associated with marriage stability and proposed a contextualized approach to premarital pastoral counselling. This suggests that Christian marriage stability cannot be separated from the cultural and social realities within which couples live.

The Christian dimension of marriage is particularly significant in the context of the present study because Christian couples may understand marriage as a covenant established under God. Biblical principles such as love, patience, forgiveness, fidelity, self-sacrifice, mutual respect and spiritual companionship can provide a framework for dealing with marital challenges. However, religious commitment does not automatically eliminate interpersonal difficulties. Christian couples, like other couples, may experience disagreements over money, sexuality, communication, extended family, childbearing, career priorities and household responsibilities. Consequently, the relationship between Christian beliefs, honeymoon experiences and actual marital stability deserves empirical investigation.

The distinction between the honeymoon experience and marital stability is therefore important. Honeymoon experiences generally concern the quality and character of the early marital period, including romance, affection, companionship, intimacy, enjoyment and satisfaction. Marital stability, on the other hand, concerns the capacity of the marriage to remain intact and functional while the couple manages disagreements, responsibilities and changing circumstances. A marriage may have a very pleasant honeymoon experience but later experience serious difficulties. Conversely, a couple may encounter challenges early in marriage while developing effective mechanisms that ultimately strengthen the relationship.

This distinction is particularly important because romantic intensity alone may not be sufficient to sustain marriage. Marriage requires adaptation, emotional maturity, communication, commitment, problem-solving and willingness to accommodate differences. The honeymoon may create positive emotional resources, but the long-term stability of the marriage may depend on how those resources are transformed into enduring patterns of interaction.

Lagos State provides an important setting for examining these issues. Lagos is a highly urbanized and economically active environment characterized by demanding work schedules, diverse cultural backgrounds, changing family structures and significant socioeconomic pressures. Newly married Christian couples living in Lagos may therefore experience a combination of romantic expectations and practical pressures. The realities of transportation, employment, housing, financial obligations, career development and extended-family responsibilities can affect the transition from the excitement of marriage to the routine demands of family life.

Despite the importance of honeymoon experiences to popular understandings of marriage, there is limited empirical attention to how newly married Christian couples in Lagos interpret their honeymoon experiences and how those experiences relate to marital stability. Much of the established international literature examines marital satisfaction trajectories, premarital education or relationship problems generally. Nigerian studies have also investigated marital instability, communication and premarital counselling, but relatively little attention has been directed specifically toward the honeymoon experience as a possible relational factor in the stability of newly established Christian marriages.

It is against this background that this study examines honeymoon experiences and marital stability among newly married couples: a study of selected Christian couples in Lagos State. The study seeks to determine the nature of honeymoon experiences among selected Christian couples, examine the extent to which these experiences relate to communication, intimacy, companionship and satisfaction, assess the level of marital stability among newly married couples, and determine whether a significant relationship exists between honeymoon experiences and marital stability.

1.2 Statement of the Problem

Marriage is generally expected to provide companionship, emotional security, intimacy, family formation and long-term social support. For many newly married couples, the period immediately following the wedding is expected to be one of happiness, romance, excitement and adjustment to a new life together. The honeymoon experience is therefore commonly regarded as a particularly pleasant period in the development of marriage. However, the transition from courtship and wedding celebration to the everyday realities of married life may not always be smooth.

A major problem is that the positive emotions associated with the honeymoon may create expectations that are difficult to maintain when couples begin to encounter the ordinary responsibilities of marriage. During courtship and the honeymoon period, couples may concentrate heavily on romantic affection, recreation, sexual intimacy and enjoyable experiences. After the honeymoon, however, they must deal with rent, household expenses, employment, domestic responsibilities, extended-family expectations, pregnancy and childbearing decisions, career pressures and differences in personal habits. When couples have unrealistic expectations about marriage, the contrast between the romantic honeymoon experience and everyday responsibilities may lead to disappointment.

Another problem concerns the assumption that a happy honeymoon automatically produces a stable marriage. While positive early experiences may contribute to marital satisfaction, research shows that marital satisfaction follows different trajectories among newlyweds. Some couples maintain high levels of satisfaction, while others experience gradual or substantial declines. Therefore, it cannot simply be assumed that couples who experience a positive honeymoon will necessarily enjoy long-term marital stability.

The early years of marriage may also expose differences that were less visible during courtship. Newly married couples begin to share responsibilities and make decisions that require negotiation. Differences in personality, communication style, financial priorities, sexual expectations, religious practices, family relationships and domestic responsibilities may become more pronounced. Where couples lack the skills required to negotiate these differences, early romantic feelings may not be sufficient to prevent conflict.

Communication represents another problem. Newly married couples may love each other but still struggle to communicate their needs effectively. Some may avoid difficult discussions because they fear damaging the romantic atmosphere of the relationship. Others may use criticism, silence, withdrawal or aggressive communication when disagreements arise. Nigerian evidence indicates that effective communication is significantly related to marital stability, suggesting that communication difficulties can have important implications for the quality and continuity of marriage.

Financial pressures constitute another concern for newly married couples in Lagos State. The economic demands of urban living can place considerable pressure on couples who are beginning their family life. Housing expenses, transportation, food, healthcare, employment uncertainty, savings and support for relatives may create financial disagreements. A honeymoon may temporarily provide a sense of escape from such pressures, but the return to normal financial responsibilities can test the couple’s ability to cooperate.

The issue of sexual adjustment also deserves attention. Marriage establishes a context in which couples are expected to develop sexual intimacy while simultaneously managing reproductive expectations and other responsibilities. Differences in sexual desire, expectations, fertility decisions or emotional intimacy may generate dissatisfaction if couples lack openness and mutual understanding. Evidence from Nigerian newly married adults has linked sexual incompatibility with marital instability, indicating that intimate adjustment is an important dimension of newlywed relationships.

Extended-family influence may further complicate the transition from honeymoon experiences to stable marital life. In the Nigerian context, marriage frequently creates relationships between families rather than only between two individuals. Parents and relatives may have expectations concerning visits, financial support, childbearing, residence, domestic roles and decision-making. Newly married Christian couples may therefore need to establish healthy boundaries while maintaining appropriate relationships with their families. Failure to manage these boundaries may produce disagreements between spouses.

There is also a concern that the celebration of weddings may receive greater attention than preparation for married life. Weddings often involve considerable financial, social and religious investment, whereas less attention may be devoted to helping couples understand the practical realities of marriage. Couples may spend considerable time preparing for the ceremony but relatively little time preparing for conflict management, financial cooperation, emotional adjustment, sexual communication, family boundaries and long-term commitment. This imbalance can leave couples inadequately prepared for the period after the honeymoon.

Furthermore, although churches often provide marriage preparation and pastoral guidance to Christian couples, the quality, content and intensity of such support may differ from one church to another. Some couples may receive structured counselling, while others may receive mainly biblical instruction or informal advice. There is therefore a need to examine what newly married Christian couples actually experience during the honeymoon period and whether these experiences are associated with their subsequent perceptions of marital stability.

Existing Nigerian research has established that marital instability is a concern. Animasahun and Fatile (2011), for example, investigated marital instability among married couples in Lagos and identified implications for marriage counselling. Bawa (2018) similarly highlighted the importance of culturally appropriate premarital counselling for marital stability among Nigerian Christian communities. However, these studies do not specifically focus on the honeymoon experience as a possible factor in marital stability among newly married Christian couples in Lagos State.

The problem, therefore, is not simply whether newly married Christian couples experience happiness during their honeymoon. The more important issue is whether the quality of those experiences—romance, companionship, communication, emotional intimacy, sexual adjustment, mutual understanding and satisfaction—has any meaningful relationship with the stability of their marriages as they move beyond the initial period of marriage.

Without empirical attention to this issue, pastors, marriage counsellors, Christian family ministries and couples may continue to treat the honeymoon merely as a recreational or romantic event rather than as an important period of marital adjustment. Understanding the relationship between honeymoon experiences and marital stability may help Christian marriage counsellors design more relevant early-marriage support programmes and assist couples in developing realistic expectations about married life.

It is therefore necessary to investigate honeymoon experiences and marital stability among newly married couples in selected Christian churches in Lagos State. The study will provide empirical evidence on whether the quality of honeymoon experiences is significantly associated with marital stability and will contribute to the broader understanding of newlywed adjustment within the Nigerian Christian context.

1.3 Purpose of the Study

The main purpose of this study is to examine the relationship between honeymoon experiences and marital stability among newly married Christian couples in Lagos State.

Specifically, the study seeks to:

1. examine the nature of honeymoon experiences among newly married Christian couples in Lagos State;
2. determine the extent to which honeymoon experiences are associated with communication and emotional intimacy among newly married couples;
3. examine the influence of companionship and romantic satisfaction during the honeymoon period on marital adjustment;
4. determine the extent to which sexual and relational adjustment during the honeymoon period is associated with marital stability

1.4 Research Questions

The following research questions will guide the study:

1. What is the nature of honeymoon experiences among newly married Christian couples in Lagos State?
2. To what extent are honeymoon experiences associated with communication and emotional intimacy among newly married couples?
3. To what extent do companionship and romantic satisfaction during the honeymoon period influence marital adjustment?
4. To what extent is sexual and relational adjustment during the honeymoon period associated with marital stability?

1.5 Research Hypothesis

The following null hypothesis will be tested at the 0.05 level of significance:

H₀: There is no significant relationship between honeymoon experiences and marital stability among newly married Christian couples in Lagos State.

1.6 Significance of the Study

This study will be significant to newly married Christian couples because it will increase their understanding of the importance of the early marital period. The findings may help couples recognize that honeymoon experiences should not be viewed only as a period of romance and recreation but also as a period of adjustment, communication and development of patterns that can influence the future of the marriage.

The study will also be useful to intending couples. By identifying factors associated with positive or negative honeymoon experiences, the findings may help couples develop more realistic expectations about marriage. Such knowledge may encourage them to discuss important issues such as finances, communication, intimacy, family relationships, domestic responsibilities and future plans before marriage.

Pastors and Christian marriage counsellors will benefit from the study because the findings may provide evidence for improving premarital and early-marriage counselling programmes. The findings may help counsellors pay greater attention to the transition between courtship, honeymoon experiences and everyday married life rather than concentrating exclusively on preparation for the wedding ceremony.

Christian churches will also benefit from the study. Churches that conduct marriage preparation programmes may use the findings to strengthen marriage ministries by introducing follow-up programmes for newly married couples. Such programmes may include communication workshops, conflict-resolution sessions, financial-management education, sexual and emotional adjustment discussions, and spiritual development activities.

Professional marriage and family counsellors may find the study useful in understanding the specific adjustment challenges experienced by newly married Christian couples in an urban Nigerian setting. The study may also encourage greater collaboration between pastoral counsellors and professional counsellors where couples experience challenges requiring specialized intervention.

The study will contribute to academic knowledge by examining honeymoon experiences as a distinct relational phenomenon rather than treating marital satisfaction as the only indicator of newlywed adjustment. It will also contribute to the Nigerian literature on marital stability by focusing specifically on newly married Christian couples in Lagos State.

Finally, the study may serve as a reference material for future researchers interested in honeymoon experiences, marital satisfaction, marital stability, Christian marriage, newlywed adjustment, premarital counselling and family relationships in Nigeria and other African societies.

1.7 Scope of the Study

The study focuses on honeymoon experiences and marital stability among newly married Christian couples in selected Christian churches in Lagos State.

The geographical scope is Lagos State, Nigeria. The study will focus on selected Christian couples who have been married for a relatively short period, operationally defined for this study as couples who have been married for not more than five years. The study will examine honeymoon experiences in terms of romance, companionship, emotional intimacy, communication, sexual adjustment, satisfaction and shared activities.

The study will examine marital stability in terms of marital satisfaction, commitment, communication, ability to manage disagreements, mutual understanding, emotional security and willingness to remain together. The study will not attempt to investigate all possible causes of marital instability in Nigeria but will concentrate specifically on the relationship between honeymoon experiences and marital stability among newly married Christian couples.

1.8 Limitations of the Study

One limitation of the study may be the sensitivity of marital issues. Respondents may be reluctant to provide completely accurate information concerning sexual intimacy, financial disagreements, emotional difficulties or conflicts with their spouses. The researcher will therefore assure respondents of confidentiality and anonymity.

Another limitation may be social desirability bias. Christian couples may feel pressure to present their marriages as successful because of religious expectations concerning marriage. This may influence the way some respondents answer questions concerning their honeymoon experiences and marital stability.

The study may also be affected by differences among Christian denominations and individual churches. Marriage preparation programmes, pastoral practices and expectations may differ between churches. Consequently, findings from selected churches may not represent every Christian church in Lagos State.

Time and financial constraints may also limit the number of churches and couples that can be included in the study. In addition, because the study will depend primarily on respondents’ self-reported experiences, the findings will reflect their perceptions and may not capture every aspect of their marital relationships.

Despite these limitations, appropriate research procedures will be adopted to enhance the reliability and validity of the findings.

1.9 Operational Definition of Terms

Christian Couples: Married partners who identify as Christians and whose marriage is recognized within a Christian religious context.

Christian Marriage: A marital union understood within the Christian faith as a committed and covenantal relationship between husband and wife based on Christian teachings and principles.

Emotional Intimacy: The degree to which spouses are able to share feelings, concerns, fears, expectations and personal experiences with one another in an atmosphere of trust and acceptance.

Honeymoon: The period immediately following marriage during which newly married couples typically experience increased romance, companionship, intimacy, celebration and adjustment to married life.

Honeymoon Experiences: The emotional, relational, physical, social and recreational experiences of couples during the early period following their marriage, including romance, communication, companionship, intimacy, shared activities and marital satisfaction.

Marital Adjustment: The process through which spouses adapt to each other’s personalities, expectations, habits, responsibilities and needs in order to establish a functional marital relationship.

Marital Instability: A condition in which a marriage experiences serious or persistent conflict, dissatisfaction, separation, threats of divorce or other circumstances that place the continuity of the marital relationship at risk.

Marital Satisfaction: The degree to which a spouse feels positively about the quality, happiness, fulfilment and overall experience of the marriage.

Marital Stability: The capacity of a marriage to remain intact and functional while spouses manage disagreements, responsibilities, changes and challenges within the relationship.

Newly Married Couples: For the purpose of this study, couples who have been married for not more than five years.

Romantic Satisfaction: The degree to which spouses perceive affection, attraction, companionship, attention and romantic expression within their marriage as fulfilling.

Sexual Adjustment: The process through which spouses develop mutual understanding and satisfaction concerning sexual intimacy, affection, expectations and reproductive decisions.

Project – Honeymoon Experiences and Marital Stability among Newly Married Couples: A Study of Selected Christian Couples in Lagos State