Project – The Concept of Forgiveness and Its Relevance to Christian Relationships: A Study of Selected Churches in Lagos State

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

1.1 Background to the Study

Forgiveness is a significant moral, theological and interpersonal concept that has received considerable attention in religious studies, psychology, counselling and relationship research. At its most basic level, forgiveness involves a change in how an individual responds to a person who has caused an offence, injury or relational hurt. Rather than allowing resentment, anger, avoidance or retaliation to determine subsequent behaviour, forgiveness may involve a gradual reduction in negative motivations and the development of more constructive responses toward the offender. McCullough, Worthington, and Rachal (1997) conceptualised interpersonal forgiveness as a motivational transformation through which individuals become less inclined toward relationship-destructive responses and more inclined toward constructive behaviour toward an offender. Their research also connected forgiveness with empathy and conciliatory behaviour, demonstrating that forgiveness has important implications for interpersonal relationships.

Within Christianity, forgiveness occupies a central position because it is closely associated with God’s forgiveness of human beings and the Christian responsibility to forgive others. The New Testament repeatedly presents forgiveness as an essential component of Christian discipleship, interpersonal conduct and reconciliation. Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 6:12 connects the believer’s request for forgiveness with the responsibility to forgive others, while Matthew 18:21–35 presents forgiveness as a continuing obligation rather than a single isolated act. Likewise, Paul instructs Christians to forgive one another as God has forgiven them (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13). Thus, Christian forgiveness is not merely a psychological strategy for reducing negative emotions; it is also presented as a spiritual and ethical practice rooted in the Christian understanding of God’s grace and mercy. Scholarly research similarly observes that forgiveness has deep religious roots and represents an important point of interaction between religious belief and social-psychological behaviour (McCullough & Worthington, 1999).

The relevance of forgiveness becomes particularly evident when considering the nature of human relationships within Christian communities. Churches bring together individuals from different family backgrounds, personalities, socioeconomic circumstances, expectations and experiences. Such diversity can produce disagreements, misunderstandings, disappointments, perceived offences and interpersonal conflicts among church members, leaders, families and ministry groups. If such grievances remain unresolved, they may produce resentment, withdrawal, avoidance, broken trust and division. Forgiveness provides one possible mechanism through which individuals can respond constructively to interpersonal offences and preserve important relationships. McCullough et al. (1997) found that forgiveness is associated with conciliatory behaviour and reduced relationship-destructive motivations, while Worthington, Jennings, and DiBlasio (2010) emphasised the relevance of forgiveness processes within couple and family relationships, including Christian contexts.

Forgiveness, however, should not be understood as simply forgetting an offence or pretending that wrongdoing did not occur. Contemporary forgiveness scholarship distinguishes forgiveness from reconciliation, condoning, excusing and forgetting. Forgiveness concerns the offended person’s response to an injury, whereas reconciliation involves the restoration or rebuilding of a relationship between the offended and offending parties. Worthington and Drinkard (2000) conceptualised reconciliation as an interpersonal process capable of repairing relationships in which trust has been violated. This distinction is particularly important within Christian relationships because forgiveness may be possible even when complete restoration of trust or relationship is not immediately possible. Therefore, understanding forgiveness requires attention to emotional, relational, moral and spiritual dimensions rather than treating it merely as the removal of anger.

The connection between religion and forgiveness has also been examined empirically. McCullough and Worthington (1999) noted that forgiveness is both a spiritual and social-psychological phenomenon and examined how religious beliefs and practices relate to forgiving tendencies. Their work suggests that religion can provide moral and theological frameworks within which individuals interpret offences, mercy and interpersonal obligations. However, the relationship between religious commitment and actual forgiveness is not necessarily automatic. Tsang, McCullough, and Hoyt (2005) observed that religious support for forgiveness does not always translate directly into forgiveness in specific interpersonal situations, and they identified both measurement and motivational factors that may explain differences between religious ideals and actual forgiving behaviour. This distinction is important for Christian churches because teaching forgiveness does not necessarily mean that every church member will consistently practise it in relationships.

Christian marriage and family relationships provide another important context for understanding the practical relevance of forgiveness. Close relationships inevitably involve occasions in which one person may disappoint, hurt, offend or fail another person. When such experiences are handled through hostility, prolonged resentment or avoidance, relational stability can be threatened. Conversely, forgiveness can contribute to constructive responses and provide a basis for repairing interpersonal relationships. Worthington et al. (2010) reviewed forgiveness interventions in couple and family contexts and specifically considered their relevance to Christians, observing that forgiveness interventions can be adapted to Christian beliefs and values. In addition, a qualitative study of Christian married couples who had successfully navigated significant relational hurts found that forgiveness occurred within a broader relational and religious context and distinguished forgiveness from acceptance of the offence. These findings demonstrate that forgiveness can be particularly significant in Christian relationships where religious beliefs influence how individuals interpret interpersonal conflict and relational repair.

Recent research further strengthens the relevance of forgiveness to relationship maintenance and repair. Tudder and Fincham (2026), using a 14-day dyadic diary design involving 82 cohabiting couples, examined the relationship between perceived divine forgiveness and interpersonal responses during romantic relationship conflicts. The study found that on days when participants reported greater experiences of divine forgiveness, they also reported greater forgiveness and efforts to make amends toward their partners, suggesting that experiences of divine forgiveness may support short-term relationship repair. Although the participants were not drawn from Nigerian churches and the findings should therefore not be directly generalised to Lagos churches, the study provides contemporary evidence for examining the connection between religious experiences of forgiveness and interpersonal relationship processes. This creates a useful basis for investigating how Christian beliefs concerning forgiveness may operate within local church communities in Lagos State.

In the Nigerian Christian context, the study of forgiveness is particularly relevant because churches function not only as places of worship but also as communities in which people develop friendships, marriages, family relationships, leadership relationships and networks of social support. Within such communities, unresolved interpersonal offences may affect unity, cooperation, participation in church activities and perceptions of belonging. At the same time, the Christian emphasis on mercy, grace, repentance and forgiveness provides theological resources for managing interpersonal disagreements. However, there remains a need to examine how the concept of forgiveness is understood and practised by Christians in specific church settings rather than assuming that the biblical teaching automatically determines members’ behaviour. The present study therefore focuses on selected churches in Lagos State to examine the concept of forgiveness and its relevance to Christian relationships, with particular attention to how forgiveness is understood, practised and perceived as a means of maintaining and repairing relationships. This focus is consistent with the wider literature showing that forgiveness is simultaneously a religious, interpersonal and relational phenomenon (McCullough & Worthington, 1999; McCullough et al., 1997).

1.2 Statement of the Problem

Christianity places considerable emphasis on forgiveness, yet the existence of a strong theological teaching on forgiveness does not automatically mean that forgiveness is consistently practised in Christian relationships. Church members can experience offences involving gossip, misunderstanding, criticism, betrayal, financial disagreements, leadership disputes, marital conflicts, family disagreements and perceived disrespect. When such experiences are not appropriately addressed, they may produce anger, resentment, avoidance and damaged relationships. The empirical literature indicates that religious belief and actual forgiveness may not always correspond directly, suggesting that the presence of religious teachings about forgiveness does not eliminate the need to examine how individuals actually respond to interpersonal offences (McCullough & Worthington, 1999; Tsang et al., 2005).

A second problem concerns the misunderstanding of what Christian forgiveness actually entails. Some individuals may equate forgiveness with forgetting an offence, immediately restoring trust, tolerating repeated wrongdoing or avoiding accountability. Such interpretations can create difficulties in relationships because forgiveness and reconciliation are related but distinct processes. Worthington and Drinkard (2000) describe reconciliation as a process aimed at repairing relationships where trust has been violated, while research involving Christian couples found that acceptance and forgiveness should not necessarily be treated as identical experiences. Without adequate understanding, church members may either resist forgiveness because they believe it requires them to deny their pain or practise a superficial form of forgiveness without addressing the relational issues underlying the conflict.

A third problem is the possible effect of unresolved interpersonal grievances on the quality of Christian relationships within churches. The church is expected to function as a community characterised by love, unity, mutual care and reconciliation. However, persistent interpersonal conflict can weaken trust and cooperation among members and can affect relationships between church leaders and members, married couples, families, ministry workers and fellow congregants. Since forgiveness has been associated with conciliatory behaviour and reduced relationship-destructive responses, inadequate forgiveness may represent an important relational issue requiring attention within Christian communities (McCullough et al., 1997). Furthermore, forgiveness interventions have been examined as a means of addressing relational difficulties in couples and families, indicating that forgiveness has practical implications beyond theological teaching (Worthington et al., 2010).

A fourth problem is the limited context-specific understanding of how Christians in Lagos State perceive and practise forgiveness in their relationships. Much of the established forgiveness literature has emerged from psychology, counselling and Western relationship research, while contemporary studies continue to examine the connection between religious forgiveness and interpersonal behaviour in settings outside Nigeria. For example, the recent dyadic study by Tudder and Fincham (2026) found an association between perceived divine forgiveness and forgiveness and amends within romantic relationships, but its sample consisted primarily of Christian/Catholic couples in a different cultural context. Consequently, there is a need for research that examines forgiveness within the lived experiences of Christians in Nigerian church communities. This study therefore seeks to investigate how the concept of forgiveness is understood by members of selected churches in Lagos State, the ways in which forgiveness is practised, and its perceived relevance to Christian relationships.

The central problem of the study is therefore the apparent gap between the Christian theological emphasis on forgiveness and the practical challenges associated with forgiving and restoring interpersonal relationships within church communities. The study seeks to provide empirical evidence on whether and how forgiveness contributes to healthier Christian relationships and to identify factors that may facilitate or hinder its practice among members of selected churches in Lagos State.

1.3 Purpose of the Study

The main purpose of this study is to examine the concept of forgiveness and its relevance to Christian relationships among members of selected churches in Lagos State.

Specifically, the study seeks to:

1. examine the biblical and theological understanding of forgiveness among Christians in selected churches in Lagos State;
2. assess the extent to which forgiveness is practised in interpersonal relationships among members of selected churches in Lagos State;
3. examine the relevance of forgiveness to the maintenance, restoration and strengthening of Christian relationships; and
4. identify the major factors that facilitate or hinder the practice of forgiveness among Christians in the selected churches.

1.4 Research Questions

The following research questions will guide the study:

1. What is the biblical and theological understanding of forgiveness among Christians in selected churches in Lagos State?
2. To what extent is forgiveness practised in interpersonal relationships among members of selected churches in Lagos State?
3. What is the relevance of forgiveness to the maintenance, restoration and strengthening of Christian relationships?
4. What factors facilitate or hinder the practice of forgiveness among Christians in the selected churches?

1.5 Research Hypothesis

The following null hypothesis will be tested at the 0.05 level of significance:

H₀: There is no significant relationship between the practice of forgiveness and the quality of Christian relationships among members of selected churches in Lagos State.

1.6 Significance of the Study

The study will be significant to Christian leaders and pastors because it will provide information on how forgiveness is understood and practised among church members. The findings may help pastors and ministry leaders develop more effective teachings, counselling approaches and conflict-management programmes centred on biblical forgiveness, reconciliation and responsible relationship restoration.

The study will also be significant to church members. By clarifying the distinction between forgiveness, reconciliation, acceptance, forgetting and condoning wrongdoing, the study may contribute to a more informed understanding of how Christians can respond to interpersonal offences while maintaining appropriate boundaries and accountability.

Christian couples and families may also benefit from the findings. Since disagreements and relational injuries can occur within marriages and families, greater understanding of forgiveness may provide useful insights for addressing resentment, rebuilding trust and promoting constructive communication. Previous scholarship has identified forgiveness as relevant to couple and family interventions, including interventions that can be adapted to Christian beliefs and values (Worthington et al., 2010).

The study will further be useful to Christian counsellors and pastoral-care practitioners. It may provide evidence that can inform counselling strategies for individuals experiencing resentment, interpersonal hurt and relationship breakdown. Understanding the processes involved in forgiveness may assist counsellors in distinguishing genuine forgiveness from premature reconciliation or avoidance of unresolved relational problems.

Finally, the study will contribute to academic literature in theology, Christian studies, pastoral counselling and religious studies. It will provide context-specific information about forgiveness and Christian relationships in Lagos State and may serve as a reference for future researchers interested in forgiveness, reconciliation, Christian ethics, interpersonal relationships and church-based conflict management.

1.7 Scope of the Study

The study will focus on The Concept of Forgiveness and Its Relevance to Christian Relationships: A Study of Selected Churches in Lagos State.

Geographically, the study will be conducted in selected churches in Lagos State. For manageable coverage, the study may focus on selected Pentecostal and/or mainstream Christian churches within Lagos Mainland and Ikeja areas, subject to accessibility and approval from the churches involved.

The content scope will cover four major areas: the biblical and theological concept of forgiveness; the practice of forgiveness among Christians; the relevance of forgiveness to Christian interpersonal relationships; and factors that facilitate or hinder forgiveness.

The study will focus on adult Christian church members and, where appropriate, church leaders or ministers who have experience with teaching, counselling or managing interpersonal relationships within the church.

1.8 Operational Definition of Terms

Forgiveness: A process through which an individual responds to an interpersonal offence by reducing destructive motivations such as resentment, hostility or revenge and developing more constructive responses toward the offender.

Christian Forgiveness: The practice of forgiving others as informed by Christian beliefs concerning God’s grace, mercy, love and forgiveness, particularly as taught in Scripture.

Christian Relationships: Interpersonal relationships among Christians, including relationships between church members, leaders, friends, couples, families and ministry workers.

Reconciliation: The process through which individuals whose relationship has been damaged work toward restoring or rebuilding their relationship and, where appropriate, trust.

Interpersonal Offence: An action, omission, statement or behaviour by one person that causes another person emotional, relational, moral or social injury.

Resentment: A persistent negative emotional response to perceived wrongdoing or injury that may involve anger, bitterness or hostility toward the person considered responsible.

Church Members: Individuals who participate regularly in the worship, activities and fellowship of a Christian congregation.

Pastoral Counselling: Counselling provided within a Christian ministry context that integrates appropriate psychological, relational and biblical principles in addressing personal and interpersonal concerns.

Selected Churches: The Christian congregations purposively chosen for participation in the study within Lagos State.

1.9 Organisation of the Study

The study will be organised into five chapters. Chapter One presents the introduction, background to the study, statement of the problem, purpose of the study, research questions, research hypothesis, significance of the study, scope of the study and operational definition of terms. Chapter Two will review relevant conceptual, theoretical and empirical literature on forgiveness, Christian relationships, reconciliation, biblical perspectives on forgiveness and related studies. Chapter Three will present the research methodology, including research design, population, sample size, sampling procedure, research instrument, validity, reliability, data collection procedure and method of data analysis. Chapter Four will present and analyse the data obtained from the respondents and discuss the findings in relation to the research questions, hypothesis and existing literature. Chapter Five will present the summary, conclusion and recommendations based on the findings of the study.

Project – The Concept of Forgiveness and Its Relevance to Christian Relationships: A Study of Selected Churches in Lagos State