Project – The Influence of Extended Family Interference on Marital Conflicts among Christian Couples: A Study of Selected Churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area, Oyo State

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

1.1 Background to the Study

Marriage is one of the most important social and religious institutions in human society. It provides a framework for companionship, intimacy, procreation, child-rearing, emotional support, economic cooperation and social continuity. Within Christianity, marriage is understood not merely as a social contract but as a covenantal relationship in which a man and a woman commit themselves to one another before God. The biblical account of marriage presents the union of husband and wife as one in which the two become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, New International Version). Jesus Christ also reaffirmed the permanence and sacredness of marital union in Matthew 19:4–6. Consequently, Christian marriage is expected to be characterised by love, fidelity, mutual respect, forgiveness, sacrifice, communication and shared commitment to God.

The Christian understanding of marriage, however, does not imply the complete absence of disagreements. Marriage brings together two individuals with different personalities, family backgrounds, expectations, experiences, preferences and perspectives. Consequently, disagreements may arise concerning finances, domestic responsibilities, child-rearing, sexuality, communication, religious practices, work, social relationships and relationships with relatives. Conflict itself is therefore not necessarily evidence that a marriage has failed. Rather, the manner in which conflict is managed can determine whether disagreement produces greater understanding or develops into persistent hostility and instability.

Marital conflict may be understood as disagreement, tension or opposition between spouses arising from incompatible expectations, interests, values, needs or behaviours. Amato and Previti (2003), in their study of reasons for divorce, demonstrated that marital breakdown is associated with a variety of interpersonal and structural factors, including infidelity, incompatibility, communication problems, financial difficulties and substance-related problems. This demonstrates that marital conflict is multidimensional and cannot be explained by a single cause.

Research on marriage has also established that the quality of interaction between spouses is central to marital stability. Gottman and Levenson (2000) demonstrated that patterns of marital interaction can predict divorce, particularly when destructive forms of communication and negative emotional processes become established within the relationship. Similarly, Karney and Bradbury (1995), in a longitudinal review of marital research, argued that marital outcomes emerge from the interaction of enduring vulnerabilities, stressful circumstances and adaptive processes within relationships.

In the Nigerian context, marriage exists within a strong network of kinship relationships. Unlike highly individualistic conceptions of marriage in which the marital unit may be viewed primarily as the relationship between two independent adults, many African societies understand marriage as a relationship involving families and communities. Consequently, parents, siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts and other relatives may continue to have social, economic and emotional relationships with married couples.

The extended family system has historically played important functions in Nigerian society. Extended family members may provide financial assistance, childcare, accommodation, advice, emotional support, mediation during disagreements and assistance during periods of crisis. In this respect, extended family involvement is not inherently harmful. Indeed, appropriate family support may strengthen marriage by providing resources that couples may not possess independently.

However, the same extended family network can become problematic when involvement exceeds appropriate boundaries or when relatives attempt to exercise excessive influence over decisions that should ordinarily be made by the couple. Such involvement may include interfering in financial decisions, child-rearing, household responsibilities, choice of residence, religious practices, employment decisions, social relationships and the resolution of disagreements between husband and wife. When such involvement becomes excessive, it may be described as extended family interference.

The distinction between support and interference is therefore important. Support involves assistance that respects the couple’s autonomy and promotes the wellbeing of the marriage. Interference occurs when relatives intrude into marital affairs in ways that undermine communication, privacy, decision-making, trust or the authority of either spouse.

Family systems theory provides an important framework for understanding this phenomenon. Bowen (1978) conceptualised the family as an emotional system in which the behaviour and emotional functioning of one member can affect other members. From this perspective, a married couple does not operate in complete isolation from their families of origin. Emotional connections between spouses and their parents may continue after marriage and can become particularly significant during periods of stress.

Bowen’s concept of triangulation is particularly relevant. Triangulation occurs when tension between two individuals is redirected through the involvement of a third person. In marital relationships, a husband or wife may involve a parent, sibling or other relative in an unresolved disagreement. Although the third party may initially provide emotional support, the involvement can intensify the conflict when the relative takes sides or attempts to control the situation.

Minuchin’s (1974) structural family systems theory similarly emphasises the importance of boundaries within family relationships. Healthy family functioning requires boundaries that allow family members to remain connected while maintaining appropriate roles and responsibilities. In a marriage, weak or diffuse boundaries between the couple and their families of origin may permit relatives to become excessively involved in marital decision-making.

The issue of extended family involvement is particularly important in collectivist cultures. In such societies, family relationships may remain strong throughout adulthood, and parents and in-laws can have continuing roles in married people’s lives. Research has shown that extended family members can function both as sources of support and as sources of marital stress. A study of marital conflict and marital quality noted that parents and in-laws can contribute resources and assistance during periods of difficulty but may also interfere by taking sides or intensifying disagreements between spouses.

The relationship between spouses and their in-laws can therefore be complex. A newly married person is not simply entering a relationship with a spouse but is also entering an existing network of family relationships. Differences in expectations concerning closeness, loyalty, authority and responsibility can create tensions. For example, a husband may feel that his wife should give priority to his parents, while the wife may believe that decisions concerning the couple’s home should be made primarily by the husband and wife. Similar disagreements may arise concerning the wife’s relationship with her own parents.

Research has shown that disagreements concerning relationships with in-laws can have consequences for marital stability. In a longitudinal study of newly married couples, discordance between spouses concerning closeness to their families was associated with divorce risk. The study emphasised that disagreement between spouses about how they relate to their respective families can be particularly important for marital outcomes.

The Nigerian cultural context makes these issues especially significant. Within many Nigerian families, parents may continue to regard their married children as members of the family who require guidance, protection and assistance. While this orientation can promote family solidarity, it can also create difficulties when parents continue to exercise decision-making authority over their adult children’s marriages.

In Yoruba society, where family relationships and respect for elders have historically been highly valued, the relationship between marriage and the extended family requires particular attention. A study of marital conflict and violence among Yoruba women found that extended families remained relevant to conflict mediation even when couples maintained separate residences. The study further demonstrated that traditional values continued to influence perceptions of marriage and conflict among Yoruba women.

The issue is therefore not simply that extended families are involved in marriage. Rather, the critical question is how, when and to what extent such involvement occurs. Relatives may provide valuable mediation when couples experience serious disagreements. An elder who encourages reconciliation, fairness and mutual understanding may help prevent a minor disagreement from escalating. Conversely, a relative who automatically supports his or her own family member, spreads information about the couple’s private disagreements or dictates marital decisions may intensify conflict.

Recent Nigerian scholarship similarly highlights this dual role. Biwul (2023), examining challenges to sustainable Christian marital relationships in Nigeria, observed that extended family members can become involved in marital difficulties and may take sides in disputes involving their children or relatives. The study argues that such dynamics can contribute to tensions surrounding Christian marriages and emphasises the importance of effective premarital and post-marital counselling.

This issue is particularly important in Christian marriages because Christian teachings place considerable emphasis on leaving the parental household and establishing a new marital unit. Genesis 2:24 states that a man shall leave his father and mother and “be united to his wife,” while Ephesians 5:31 repeats this principle in its discussion of marriage. The biblical principle does not necessarily require the rejection or abandonment of parents. Rather, it establishes the marital union as a distinct relationship with its own responsibilities and loyalties.

Consequently, a tension may arise between legitimate respect for parents and the need for marital autonomy. Christian couples are expected to honour their parents (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:2), but marriage also establishes a unique bond between husband and wife. Where either spouse permits parents or siblings to exercise excessive control over the marriage, conflicts concerning loyalty and boundaries may emerge.

The problem can become more complicated where relatives interpret marital disagreements through cultural rather than marital or Christian perspectives. For instance, a parent may believe that a son should always follow the advice of his family of origin, while the wife may expect the husband to make decisions jointly with her. A mother may perceive a daughter-in-law’s independence as disrespect, while the daughter-in-law may regard the mother’s involvement as intrusion. Similarly, siblings may become involved when one spouse complains about the other, thereby creating multiple competing perspectives.

Extended family interference may manifest in several ways. One form is interference in decision-making, where relatives attempt to determine how couples should manage their finances, residence, children or domestic responsibilities. Another is interference in conflict resolution, where parents or siblings become directly involved in disagreements between spouses. A third is emotional interference, where relatives encourage resentment, suspicion or hostility toward a spouse. A fourth is financial interference, where relatives exert pressure regarding the use of family income or resources. A fifth involves child-rearing, where grandparents or other relatives challenge the decisions of parents regarding discipline, education or religious upbringing.

The influence of mothers-in-law is often discussed in Nigerian marital discourse, although the phenomenon should not be reduced exclusively to mothers-in-law. Fathers-in-law, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters and other relatives may also become involved. A study of the role of extended family in marital instability in Egor Local Government Area of Edo State found that extended family members were involved directly or indirectly in marriages and identified mother-in-law interference among reported contributors to marital disputes.

The potential consequences of excessive family interference include recurrent arguments, emotional distance, distrust, poor communication, divided loyalties, resentment and reduced marital satisfaction. In severe situations, persistent conflict may contribute to separation or divorce.

Nigerian research supports the seriousness of marital conflict. A study of Yoruba women’s narratives of marital conflict and violence found that conflict could lead spouses to withdraw from interpersonal communication, family meals and sexual relationships. The research also found that extended families remained relevant in the management and mediation of marital disputes.

The problem of marital conflict is also relevant to Christian communities because the church is expected to support the stability and wellbeing of Christian families. Christian churches frequently provide marriage counselling, premarital instruction, family seminars, pastoral counselling and prayer-based interventions. However, the effectiveness of these interventions may be weakened when marital conflicts are influenced by extended family relationships that are not adequately addressed.

Research conducted among Christian couples in Kosofe Local Government Area of Lagos State found that marital conflicts were associated with communication breakdown, cultural differences, financial difficulties and household responsibilities. The study also found that unresolved conflicts could persist for extended periods and recommended counselling, communication training and other forms of family support.

Although Kosofe is in Lagos State rather than Oyo State, the study demonstrates the relevance of investigating marital conflict among Christian couples within specific Nigerian localities rather than assuming that marital experiences are identical across communities.

A related study of Yoruba Christian couples found that divorce is an increasing concern within Yoruba Christian communities and identified several factors associated with marital breakdown, including poverty, infidelity, sexual dissatisfaction and problematic religious leadership. Uroko and Enobong (2022) argued that churches need to provide stronger marriage education and counselling for couples.

The role of communication is also important in determining how couples manage interference. When spouses communicate openly and establish shared boundaries concerning their families of origin, they may be better able to prevent relatives from creating divisions within the marriage. Adegboyega (2021) found that effective spousal communication positively influenced conflict resolution among married adults in Ilorin and that ineffective communication could contribute to perceptual errors between spouses.

This suggests that extended family interference may not operate independently of the couple’s own communication patterns. Where spouses maintain strong communication and agree on appropriate boundaries, relatives may find it more difficult to create divisions. Conversely, where spouses have poor communication, a relative’s intervention may intensify an already existing disagreement.

Another important consideration is that extended family involvement can have positive effects. It would therefore be inappropriate to assume that every form of family involvement produces marital conflict. Relatives may provide childcare, financial assistance, accommodation, advice and emotional support. During serious marital crises, respected elders or church leaders may help couples reach reconciliation. Research on family systems similarly recognises that extended kin can serve both supportive and stressful functions.

Consequently, the present study is concerned specifically with interference, rather than ordinary family support. The study seeks to determine whether excessive or inappropriate involvement of relatives is associated with marital conflicts among Christian couples.

The issue is especially worthy of investigation in Ibadan North Local Government Area of Oyo State. Ibadan is a major urban centre in southwestern Nigeria and an important centre of Yoruba culture, education, commerce and Christian religious activities. Ibadan North contains a diverse population and numerous Christian congregations representing different denominations and traditions. Married couples within these churches may maintain close relationships with their families of origin while simultaneously attempting to establish independent marital households.

The cultural importance of family relationships in southwestern Nigeria makes Ibadan an appropriate setting for examining the tension between family solidarity and marital autonomy. At the same time, modern socioeconomic conditions may be changing traditional family relationships. Urbanisation, education, women’s employment, economic pressures, changing gender expectations and increased individual autonomy may alter how married couples relate to their extended families.

Recent research specifically focusing on Ibadan North has also demonstrated continuing concern about marital stability. Osinimu and Animasahun (2026) examined psychosocial and economic predictors of marital stability among married individuals in Ibadan North and identified factors including communication, financial circumstances, peer influence and in-law factors as relevant to marital stability. Although the study is broader than the present research, its focus on Ibadan North provides contemporary local evidence that marital stability is influenced by multiple social and relational factors.

The present study therefore seeks to contribute to this emerging local literature by focusing specifically on extended family interference and marital conflict among Christian couples. Such a study is necessary because understanding the problem can assist churches, pastors, marriage counsellors and couples in developing culturally appropriate strategies for establishing healthy boundaries while maintaining respectful family relationships.

1.2 Statement of the Problem

Marriage is expected to provide companionship, emotional security, mutual support and a stable environment for raising children. Within Christianity, marital union is also regarded as a sacred covenant that should reflect love, faithfulness, sacrifice and mutual commitment. Nevertheless, marital conflicts remain a significant concern among couples, including Christian couples.

Disagreements between husbands and wives are not necessarily abnormal. Couples may disagree over finances, communication, sexuality, domestic responsibilities, child-rearing, employment, religious activities and other aspects of family life. The problem becomes more serious when disagreements become frequent, hostile or unresolved and begin to affect emotional intimacy, communication, family functioning and marital stability.

One factor that may contribute to such conflict is the involvement of members of the extended family. In Nigerian society, married couples often maintain strong relationships with parents, siblings and other relatives. These relationships can be beneficial because extended family members may provide financial assistance, childcare, emotional support and advice. However, excessive involvement may undermine the independence of the couple and create tension between spouses.

The central problem is that some relatives may continue to exercise influence over their married children’s decisions even after the establishment of a separate household. Parents may attempt to determine how couples spend money, raise children, resolve disagreements, choose where to live or interact with one another. Siblings and other relatives may also become involved in marital disagreements, particularly when one spouse seeks their support.

The problem becomes more complicated when relatives take sides in marital disagreements. Instead of helping both spouses resolve their differences, a parent or sibling may defend his or her family member regardless of the circumstances. This can transform a disagreement between two spouses into a conflict involving two extended families. Biwul (2023) identified this tendency within the Nigerian Christian context, noting that extended family members can become defensive of their own relatives when marital relationships experience difficulties.

The situation may also create divided loyalty within the marriage. A husband may feel pressured to choose between his wife and his parents, while a wife may experience similar pressure between her husband and her family of origin. If either spouse consistently prioritises the demands of relatives over the needs of the marriage, resentment and distrust may develop.

Another dimension of the problem concerns boundaries. Marriage creates a new family unit, but the transition from a family-of-origin relationship to a marital relationship may not always be clearly understood by relatives or even by the couple themselves. Bowen’s (1978) family systems theory and Minuchin’s (1974) structural family systems theory both provide useful explanations of how unclear boundaries and emotional entanglement can contribute to family dysfunction.

Where boundaries are weak, relatives may have excessive access to private marital information. A spouse may report every disagreement to a parent or sibling, who may subsequently develop a negative perception of the other spouse. Once such perceptions become established, subsequent disagreements may be interpreted through the lens of previous complaints.

This problem may be particularly damaging to Christian couples because marital conflicts can have consequences beyond the couple. Persistent conflict can affect children, church participation, emotional wellbeing and the couple’s spiritual life. A marriage characterised by constant hostility may make it difficult for spouses to maintain effective prayer, fellowship and shared Christian responsibilities.

There is also the possibility that couples may avoid seeking professional or pastoral help because they fear exposing family problems. Instead, they may depend exclusively on relatives who may already be emotionally aligned with one spouse. Such interventions may fail to address the underlying causes of the disagreement and may sometimes intensify it.

Research on marital conflict in Nigeria has identified communication problems as an important issue. Adegboyega (2021) found that effective communication contributed positively to conflict resolution among married adults, while ineffective communication contributed to perceptual errors. Where extended family interference is added to poor spousal communication, marital disagreements may become more difficult to resolve.

The problem is also associated with cultural expectations. Respect for elders is strongly valued in many Nigerian communities. Consequently, couples may find it difficult to establish boundaries without appearing disrespectful to their parents or older relatives. A spouse who attempts to limit a parent’s involvement may be accused of disrespect, disobedience or attempting to separate the other spouse from his or her family.

At the same time, failure to establish appropriate boundaries can weaken the marital relationship. The challenge for Christian couples is therefore to maintain the biblical responsibility to honour parents while also protecting the unity and privacy of the marriage.

Existing Nigerian research demonstrates that extended family involvement is a genuine issue in marital relationships. The study of Yoruba women’s narratives by Bammeke and Eshiet (2018) found that extended families remained important in marital conflict mediation despite couples maintaining separate residences. Similarly, research in Edo State identified extended family involvement and mother-in-law interference among issues associated with marital instability.

However, much of the available literature has focused broadly on marital instability, domestic violence, communication, divorce or family conflict. There is comparatively less focused research examining extended family interference specifically as a factor associated with marital conflicts among Christian couples in Ibadan North Local Government Area.

This represents a contextual and empirical gap. Findings from Lagos, Edo State, Ilorin and other locations are useful, but they cannot automatically be generalised to Christian couples in Ibadan North because cultural practices, church environments, family structures and socioeconomic conditions may differ.

There is therefore a need to examine whether extended family interference is significantly associated with marital conflicts among Christian couples in selected churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area. Such an investigation can help determine the common forms of interference, the extent to which couples experience them and their perceived effects on marital relationships.

The problem addressed by this study can therefore be summarised as follows: despite the importance of the extended family in Nigerian society and the Christian emphasis on marital unity, excessive involvement of parents, siblings and other relatives may create tensions that contribute to marital conflicts. However, there is insufficient context-specific empirical evidence concerning this relationship among Christian couples in selected churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area, Oyo State.

The study therefore seeks to examine the influence of extended family interference on marital conflicts among Christian couples in selected churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area, Oyo State.

1.3 Aim of the Study

The main aim of this study is to examine the influence of extended family interference on marital conflicts among Christian couples in selected churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area, Oyo State.

1.4 Objectives of the Study

The specific objectives are to:

1. examine the extent of extended family involvement in the marriages of Christian couples in selected churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area;
2. identify the common forms of extended family interference experienced by Christian couples;
3. assess the prevalence and nature of marital conflicts among Christian couples in the selected churches;
4. examine the relationship between interference from parents/in-laws and marital conflicts among Christian couples.

1.5 Research Questions

The study will answer the following questions:

1. What is the extent of extended family involvement in the marriages of Christian couples in selected churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area?
2. What are the common forms of extended family interference experienced by Christian couples?
3. What is the nature and prevalence of marital conflicts among Christian couples in the selected churches?
4. What relationship exists between interference from parents/in-laws and marital conflicts among Christian couples?

1.6 Research Hypothesis

The following null hypothesis will be tested at the 0.05 level of significance:

H₀: There is no statistically significant relationship between extended family interference and marital conflicts among Christian couples in selected churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area, Oyo State.

1.7 Significance of the Study

The study will be significant to Christian couples, parents and in-laws, church leaders, marriage counsellors, pastors, family ministries, policymakers and future researchers.

Christian Couples

The study will help Christian couples understand the importance of establishing healthy boundaries with their families of origin while maintaining appropriate respect and family relationships. It may encourage couples to make decisions jointly and communicate openly concerning the involvement of relatives.

Parents and In-Laws

The study may help parents and other relatives understand that although their advice and support can be valuable, excessive involvement in the private affairs of married couples may create tension. The findings may encourage relatives to provide support without undermining the autonomy of the marital relationship.

Pastors and Church Leaders

The findings may assist pastors and church leaders in designing more effective premarital and post-marital counselling programmes. Churches may use the findings to teach couples about communication, boundary-setting, forgiveness and healthy relationships with extended family members.

Marriage Counsellors

Marriage counsellors may benefit from the study because it will provide contextual information about how extended family relationships affect marital conflicts. Such knowledge can assist counsellors in addressing not only the couple’s interpersonal difficulties but also the family systems surrounding the marriage.

Christian Family Ministries

Family ministries may use the findings to develop seminars and workshops addressing in-law relationships, family boundaries, communication and Christian approaches to resolving marital disagreements.

Policymakers and Social-Service Professionals

The findings may contribute to broader discussions about family wellbeing, marriage stability and counselling services in Nigeria. Professionals working in family and social development may find the evidence useful when developing marriage-support interventions.

Researchers

The study will contribute to the literature on marriage, family systems, Christian counselling and extended family relationships in Nigeria. It may provide a basis for comparative studies across denominations, local government areas and cultural groups.

1.8 Scope of the Study

The study is limited to the influence of extended family interference on marital conflicts among Christian couples in selected churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area, Oyo State.

The independent variable is extended family interference, while the dependent variable is marital conflict.

Extended family interference will be examined in terms of:

• interference from parents and parents-in-law;
• interference from siblings and other relatives;
• interference in marital decision-making;
• interference in child-rearing;
• interference in financial matters;
• interference in domestic responsibilities;
• interference in conflict resolution; and
• excessive sharing or disclosure of private marital matters.

Marital conflict will be examined in relation to:

• communication difficulties;
• disagreements over finances;
• domestic responsibilities;
• child-rearing;
• emotional tension;
• distrust;
• recurrent arguments;
• interference-related disagreements;
• withdrawal and emotional distance; and
• difficulty resolving marital disputes.

The study will focus specifically on Christian couples who are married and worship in selected churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area. It will not cover unmarried Christians, non-Christian couples or all churches in Oyo State.

1.9 Operational Definition of Terms

Christian Couples: Married men and women who identify as Christians and are members of the selected churches included in the study.

Marriage: A socially and religiously recognised union between a man and a woman involving mutual responsibilities, companionship and commitment.

Extended Family: Relatives beyond the husband-wife-child nuclear unit, including parents, parents-in-law, siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces and other close kin.

Extended Family Interference: Unwanted, excessive or inappropriate involvement by relatives in the private affairs, decisions, relationships or conflict-resolution processes of a married couple.

Marital Conflict: Disagreement, tension, hostility or unresolved disputes between spouses arising from differences in expectations, interests, values, needs or behaviour.

Marital Stability: The capacity of a marriage to maintain continuity, mutual commitment, emotional connection and effective functioning despite challenges.

Parents-in-Law: The parents of either husband or wife.

Marital Decision-Making: The process through which husband and wife make decisions concerning matters affecting their household, finances, children, residence and other aspects of family life.

Family Boundaries: The emotional, relational and behavioural limits that define appropriate responsibilities and levels of involvement between a married couple and their families of origin.

Conflict Resolution: The processes through which spouses or other parties attempt to manage, reduce or resolve disagreements and restore constructive relationships.

Church: A Christian religious community or congregation in which the selected married couples worship and participate in Christian activities.

Ibadan North Local Government Area: A local government area within Ibadan, Oyo State, Nigeria, and the geographical setting of the selected churches included in this study.

1.10 Organisation of the Study

The study will be organised into six chapters.

Chapter One presents the introduction, background to the study, statement of the problem, aim and objectives, research questions, research hypothesis, significance of the study, scope and operational definition of terms.

Chapter Two will review relevant conceptual, theoretical and empirical literature on marriage, extended family relationships, family boundaries, marital conflict, Christian marriage and related issues.

Chapter Three will present the methodology of the study, including the research design, study population, sample size, sampling procedure, research instrument, validity and reliability of the instrument, data collection procedures and methods of data analysis.

Chapter Four will present the analysis, interpretation and discussion of data obtained from the respondents.

Chapter Five will present the lessons learnt from the study and their application to Christian marriage and church ministry.

Chapter Six will present the summary, conclusion and recommendations.

Project – The Influence of Extended Family Interference on Marital Conflicts among Christian Couples: A Study of Selected Churches in Ibadan North Local Government Area, Oyo State