Project – Honeymoon Practices, Emotional Bonding and Marital Longevity: An Assessment of Newlywed Couples in Selected Pentecostal Churches in Lagos State

CHAPTER ONE

INTRODUCTION

1.1 Background to the Study

Marriage is one of the most important social institutions through which individuals establish intimate relationships, form families and assume long-term responsibilities toward one another. Beyond its social and cultural significance, marriage is also regarded within Christianity as a covenantal relationship involving companionship, commitment, mutual responsibility and spiritual partnership. The biblical account of marriage presents the union of husband and wife as a relationship in which two individuals leave their former family arrangements, become united and develop a shared life (Genesis 2:24). Similarly, the New Testament emphasizes love, mutual submission, sacrifice, care and responsibility between spouses (Ephesians 5:21–33). Thus, Christian marriage is not merely an event associated with a wedding ceremony; it is an ongoing relational process that requires emotional investment, communication, adjustment, commitment and intentional maintenance.

The transition from courtship or engagement to marriage represents a major developmental change in the lives of couples. During courtship, partners may spend considerable time together in relatively controlled circumstances, while marriage introduces continuous interaction and shared responsibility. Newlywed couples have to negotiate issues such as finances, domestic responsibilities, career demands, sexual expectations, communication patterns, relationships with extended family members, religious practices and future family plans. These responsibilities can significantly influence the quality of the marital relationship, particularly during the early years when couples are still learning how to live together and understand one another. Williamson and Lavner (2020), in their longitudinal study of 431 ethnically diverse newlywed couples, found that although many spouses maintained relatively high levels of marital satisfaction, substantial declines were concentrated among those who entered marriage with lower levels of satisfaction. This suggests that the early years of marriage are important for understanding the development of marital satisfaction and stability.

One of the distinctive experiences associated with the beginning of marriage is the honeymoon. Traditionally, a honeymoon refers to a period immediately following the wedding during which newly married couples spend private and relatively uninterrupted time together. However, contemporary honeymoon practices have expanded beyond the conventional idea of travelling to a particular destination. Couples may celebrate their marriage through vacations, short trips, retreats, visits to recreational centres, private time at home, special meals, religious retreats, family visits or other activities intended to strengthen companionship. Consequently, the meaning and quality of a honeymoon may differ considerably from one couple to another. A luxurious honeymoon does not necessarily indicate a strong marital foundation, just as a modest honeymoon does not necessarily indicate a weak marriage. What may be more important is how the experience contributes to companionship, communication, emotional closeness, mutual understanding and positive memories.

The concept of honeymoon quality is therefore important in examining the early development of marriage. Honeymoon quality may be understood in terms of the extent to which the experience provides opportunities for emotional connection, meaningful communication, relaxation, mutual enjoyment, intimacy and shared experiences. The quality of a honeymoon is not necessarily determined by the amount of money spent, the distance travelled or the attractiveness of the destination. Instead, the relational experience created by the couple may be more significant. A couple who uses the honeymoon period to communicate openly, understand each other’s expectations and develop shared experiences may establish relational patterns that can be useful when confronted with future challenges.

The importance of the honeymoon period has also attracted attention in marriage research. Lorber, Eckardt, Heyman and O’Leary (2015) examined the so-called “honeymoon effect” among newly married couples and found that many couples began marriage with high levels of marital satisfaction, although satisfaction trajectories differed among spouses. Their findings demonstrate that the high satisfaction commonly associated with the early stage of marriage should not automatically be interpreted as evidence that a marriage will remain stable indefinitely. Rather, the early marital period can be viewed as a period during which relational patterns begin to emerge and become increasingly important for later marital outcomes.

Emotional bonding is another important component of newlywed relationships. Emotional bonding refers to the development of feelings of closeness, trust, affection, security, companionship and psychological connection between spouses. It involves the ability of partners to feel understood, valued, accepted and supported by one another. Emotional bonding may be strengthened through affectionate communication, shared experiences, emotional availability, mutual support and expressions of appreciation. Where emotional bonding is weak, couples may experience loneliness, misunderstanding, emotional distance and dissatisfaction even when they remain physically together.

The development of emotional bonding is particularly important during the early years of marriage because couples are moving from romantic expectations into the realities of shared life. During courtship, partners may focus strongly on positive characteristics and may have limited exposure to each other’s responses to stress, financial pressure, family disagreements and domestic responsibilities. Marriage creates more opportunities for such characteristics and behaviours to become visible. As a result, couples need to develop relational skills that enable them to manage differences without destroying emotional connection. Lavner, Karney, Williamson and Bradbury (2017) demonstrated the dynamic relationship between marital satisfaction and marital problems, showing that satisfaction and marital problems can influence each other over time. This indicates that the way newlyweds handle emerging problems can have implications for the development of their marital relationship.

Communication is particularly relevant to emotional bonding. Effective communication enables spouses to express needs, expectations, feelings and concerns while also allowing each partner to understand the perspective of the other. Poor communication, on the other hand, can create misunderstanding and emotional distance. This is important because honeymoon experiences often create opportunities for couples to communicate without some of the routine pressures that characterize later married life. When couples use such opportunities to discuss their expectations, values, goals and concerns, the honeymoon may become more than a recreational experience; it may contribute to relational development.

Research on premarital and relationship education provides further support for the importance of communication in the early stages of marriage. Fawcett, Hawkins, Blanchard and Carroll (2010), in a meta-analysis of 47 studies, found that premarital education did not consistently produce large improvements in relationship quality or satisfaction, but there was stronger evidence that such programmes could improve couple communication. The authors also noted that relatively few studies followed couples beyond the honeymoon period to determine whether early relationship interventions produced lasting effects. This observation is relevant to the present study because it indicates that the period surrounding the beginning of marriage deserves greater attention when considering how early relational experiences may relate to later marital outcomes.

Marital longevity refers to the continuation of a marriage over an extended period while maintaining an acceptable degree of stability, commitment and relational functioning. Longevity should not be understood simply as the absence of divorce. A marriage may continue legally while the spouses experience persistent conflict, emotional separation or dissatisfaction. Consequently, meaningful marital longevity involves both duration and relational quality. Karney and Bradbury (2020) argue that marital satisfaction and stability are shaped by complex interpersonal and contextual processes rather than by a single factor. The economic, social and psychological circumstances surrounding couples can affect their capacity to maintain satisfying and stable marriages.

In Nigeria, marriage occupies an important position in social and religious life. Marriage connects not only two individuals but often two families and wider kinship networks. Consequently, newlywed couples may have to negotiate expectations from parents, in-laws, church leaders and other relatives. Issues such as financial assistance to extended family members, fertility expectations, living arrangements, gender roles and participation in family events may influence the experiences of newly married couples. These issues can become particularly significant when the expectations of spouses differ from those of their respective families.

Empirical evidence from Nigeria demonstrates that marital instability deserves serious attention. Animasahun and Fatile (2011), in their study of 250 married men and women in Lagos metropolis, examined patterns of marital instability and identified the need for professional marriage assessment and counselling. Their findings also showed that marital instability could not simply be explained by factors such as religion, occupation, educational background or social status. This suggests that marital stability is a multidimensional issue requiring attention to relational and psychological processes.

Similarly, Ogungbola and Akomolafe (2019), in a study involving 120 married couples in Nigeria, examined factors associated with marital satisfaction. Their findings highlighted partner-related problems, personal problems and family ties among the factors relevant to the marital satisfaction of Nigerian couples. The emphasis on family ties is particularly important within the Nigerian context, where marriage often exists within extensive family and kinship networks.

The Christian church also occupies an important position in marriage formation and family life in Nigeria. Pentecostal churches in particular frequently provide premarital counselling, marriage preparation programmes, wedding ceremonies, marital seminars, prayer meetings and pastoral counselling. These activities demonstrate the church’s recognition that marriage requires preparation and continuing support. Bawa (2018), in a pastoral study involving Christian marriage preparation among the Alago people of Nigeria, argued that Christian approaches to premarital counselling require contextual sensitivity and should engage the realities of the cultural environment in which couples live.

The Pentecostal environment is particularly relevant to the present study because Pentecostal churches often attach strong spiritual meaning to marriage. Couples may be encouraged to regard marriage as a covenant, to pray together, participate in church activities, demonstrate faithfulness and seek pastoral guidance when difficulties arise. Nevertheless, spiritual commitment does not eliminate the practical challenges associated with married life. Newlyweds may still face disagreements over money, employment, household responsibilities, intimacy, childbearing, family relationships and personal expectations. Consequently, the quality of early marital experiences and the strength of emotional bonding may remain important even within strongly religious marriages.

Lagos State provides a significant context for studying these issues because of its large and socially diverse population, urban lifestyle and concentration of Pentecostal churches. The city exposes couples to demanding work schedules, transportation challenges, economic pressures, changing gender expectations and diverse cultural influences. Newlywed couples may therefore have limited opportunities for uninterrupted interaction after marriage. A honeymoon may represent one of the few periods during which a couple can temporarily withdraw from routine demands and focus primarily on their relationship.

At the same time, the changing nature of honeymoon practices raises questions about whether the experience is primarily viewed as a social celebration, a romantic vacation, a religious experience or an opportunity for relational development. Some couples may prioritize expensive travel, accommodation and entertainment, while others may focus on privacy, communication, prayer and companionship. The difference in these practices raises an important research question: does the quality of the honeymoon experience have any meaningful relationship with emotional bonding and the subsequent stability of marriage?

The relationship between honeymoon practices and marital longevity should therefore not be interpreted as a simple cause-and-effect relationship. Many factors can influence whether a marriage remains stable, including communication, conflict-management skills, emotional intimacy, financial conditions, family relationships, personality characteristics, premarital preparation and commitment. Williamson and Lavner (2020) found that many newlywed couples maintained relatively stable satisfaction, while significant declines were concentrated among spouses who began marriage with lower satisfaction. This finding reinforces the argument that early marital experiences must be examined alongside broader relationship characteristics.

Furthermore, honeymoon practices may contribute to the creation of positive shared memories and relational rituals. Couples who establish meaningful rituals of connection early in marriage may continue to use similar practices to maintain closeness during periods of stress. However, the significance of such practices may depend on the emotional meaning attached to them rather than their financial or material value. A honeymoon that allows couples to talk, laugh, pray, rest, express affection and establish shared expectations may potentially contribute more to emotional bonding than an expensive trip characterized by stress, unrealistic expectations or limited communication.

Despite the importance of marriage within Nigerian society and the extensive involvement of churches in marriage preparation and counselling, there appears to be limited empirical attention specifically directed toward honeymoon practices as a factor associated with emotional bonding and marital longevity among newlywed couples in Pentecostal churches in Lagos State. Existing Nigerian studies have examined marital instability, marital satisfaction, counselling and other factors affecting marriage, but the specific relationship between honeymoon experiences, emotional bonding and subsequent marital stability remains insufficiently explored.

This gap is important because the honeymoon is frequently treated as a temporary romantic celebration rather than as a potentially meaningful stage in marital development. Understanding how newlywed couples experience and interpret their honeymoon may help churches, marriage counsellors and couples identify practices that promote emotional closeness and realistic expectations. It may also help distinguish between the material aspects of honeymoon experiences and the relational qualities that may be more relevant to lasting marriage.

The present study therefore seeks to assess honeymoon practices, emotional bonding and marital longevity among newlywed couples in selected Pentecostal churches in Lagos State. The study is premised on the view that marriage stability develops through continuing relational processes and that the experiences couples have at the beginning of marriage may be relevant to the formation of emotional connection, communication patterns and long-term commitment. By focusing on newlywed couples, the study seeks to contribute empirical evidence that can assist Pentecostal churches, marriage counsellors and couples in strengthening the transition from wedding celebration to sustainable marital life.

1.2 Statement of the Problem

Marriage is generally entered into with expectations of companionship, emotional fulfilment, mutual support and long-term commitment. For many couples, the wedding ceremony and honeymoon represent the beginning of a desired lifelong relationship. However, the transition from the excitement surrounding marriage to the everyday realities of married life can be challenging. Couples who initially experience strong romantic feelings may later encounter differences relating to communication, finances, domestic responsibilities, sexual expectations, career demands, family relationships and personal values. The existence of a successful wedding ceremony or enjoyable honeymoon therefore does not automatically guarantee a stable and enduring marriage.

One major concern is that honeymoon experiences are often understood primarily in terms of expenditure, travel, accommodation and entertainment. Such an approach may overlook the relational dimension of the honeymoon. A couple may spend considerable money on a luxurious honeymoon but return to marriage without developing effective communication, emotional intimacy or realistic expectations. Conversely, couples with modest financial resources may have meaningful experiences characterized by affection, companionship, communication and mutual understanding. The problem, therefore, is not simply whether newlywed couples have honeymoons but what they do during the honeymoon and how those practices contribute to the development of their relationship.

A second problem concerns the assumption that the emotional excitement associated with the honeymoon will naturally continue throughout marriage. Research on newlywed relationships indicates that marital satisfaction does not follow a single pattern. Lorber et al. (2015) found different satisfaction trajectories among newlywed couples, while Williamson and Lavner (2020) reported that although many newlyweds maintained high satisfaction, substantial declines occurred among some spouses. These findings suggest that the positive emotions associated with the beginning of marriage should not be assumed to guarantee long-term stability.

A related problem is the difficulty many couples may experience in transforming romantic affection into deeper emotional bonding. Emotional bonding requires trust, openness, empathy, communication, affection and the willingness to provide support during difficult circumstances. Newlyweds who have strong physical attraction but limited emotional communication may find it difficult to manage disagreements when the initial excitement of marriage diminishes. Without strong emotional connection, conflicts that could have been resolved through communication may become sources of resentment and distance.

Another concern is the changing nature of the Nigerian family environment. Marriage in Nigeria often involves relationships with parents, siblings, in-laws and wider family networks. Expectations concerning financial support, childbearing, residence, domestic roles and family obligations can create pressures for newly married couples. Ogungbola and Akomolafe (2019) identified family ties and partner-related problems among factors associated with marital satisfaction among Nigerian couples. If couples have not developed strong emotional bonding and effective communication from the beginning of marriage, such external pressures may contribute to relational difficulties.

The issue is particularly significant in Pentecostal churches because marriage is often presented as a spiritual covenant that should demonstrate Christian love, faithfulness and commitment. Couples may participate in premarital counselling and receive spiritual instruction before marriage. Yet, the existence of counselling and religious commitment does not mean that couples will automatically develop effective relational skills. Fawcett et al. (2010) found that evidence concerning the effects of premarital education on relationship satisfaction was mixed, although improvements in communication were more consistently observed. This suggests that marriage preparation and spiritual instruction may need to be complemented by continuing attention to the practical and emotional dimensions of married life.

The Lagos context further intensifies the need for investigation. Newlywed couples in Lagos may encounter demanding work schedules, financial pressures, long commuting times, housing challenges and competing family and social responsibilities. These pressures may reduce opportunities for quality time and emotional connection after the honeymoon. Consequently, the way couples use their early period of marriage to establish patterns of communication, affection and companionship may be particularly important.

Although previous Nigerian research has documented marital instability, there is limited research specifically examining honeymoon practices as a possible component of early marital development. Animasahun and Fatile (2011), for example, investigated patterns of marital instability among married couples in Lagos and emphasized the need for professional attention to marital problems. However, their study did not specifically examine honeymoon practices or their relationship with emotional bonding and marital longevity.

There is consequently a contextual and empirical gap concerning whether particular honeymoon practices are associated with stronger emotional bonding among newlywed couples and whether such bonding is related to perceptions of marital longevity. It is also unclear whether the significance of the honeymoon lies mainly in its material characteristics or in the quality of interaction it provides between spouses. Without empirical evidence, churches and marriage counsellors may continue to treat the honeymoon primarily as a ceremonial or recreational component of marriage rather than considering its potential relational implications.

The problem addressed by this study, therefore, is the insufficient understanding of how honeymoon practices relate to emotional bonding and marital longevity among newlywed couples in Pentecostal churches in Lagos State. The study seeks to determine whether the quality and nature of honeymoon experiences are associated with emotional closeness, communication, intimacy and perceptions of long-term marital stability. Findings from the study may provide useful evidence for Pentecostal churches, marriage counsellors and newlywed couples in designing more practical approaches to marriage preparation and early marital support.

1.3 Purpose of the Study

The main purpose of this study is to assess the relationship between honeymoon practices, emotional bonding and marital longevity among newlywed couples in selected Pentecostal churches in Lagos State.

The specific objectives are to:

1. examine the nature and patterns of honeymoon practices among newlywed couples in selected Pentecostal churches in Lagos State;
2. assess the level of emotional bonding among newlywed couples in selected Pentecostal churches in Lagos State;
3. determine the extent to which honeymoon practices contribute to emotional bonding among newlywed couples;
4. examine the relationship between emotional bonding and perceived marital longevity among newlywed couples;

1.4 Research Questions

The following research questions will guide the study:

1. What are the major honeymoon practices among newlywed couples in selected Pentecostal churches in Lagos State?
2. What is the level of emotional bonding among newlywed couples in selected Pentecostal churches in Lagos State?
3. To what extent do honeymoon practices contribute to emotional bonding among newlywed couples?
4. What relationship exists between emotional bonding and perceived marital longevity among newlywed couples?

1.5 Research Hypothesis

The following null hypothesis will be tested at the 0.05 level of significance:

H₀: There is no significant relationship between honeymoon practices, emotional bonding and marital longevity among newlywed couples in selected Pentecostal churches in Lagos State.

1.6 Significance of the Study

The study will be significant to newlywed couples because it may help them understand that the honeymoon is not merely a period of recreation or celebration but can provide opportunities for communication, emotional connection and the development of shared relational practices. The findings may encourage couples to focus on the quality of their interaction rather than solely on the financial or material aspects of their honeymoon.

The study will also be significant to Pentecostal churches and church leaders. Churches play an important role in preparing couples for marriage and providing pastoral support after marriage. The findings may assist church leaders in reviewing existing marriage preparation programmes and incorporating practical discussions on emotional bonding, communication, intimacy, expectations and the transition from honeymoon experiences to everyday marital life.

For marriage counsellors and family therapists, the study may provide additional insight into the early experiences of newlywed couples. Understanding the relationship between honeymoon practices and emotional bonding may assist counsellors in identifying strengths and weaknesses in the early marital adjustment of couples. It may also encourage counselling approaches that address relationship development rather than waiting until serious marital conflict emerges.

The study will be useful to theological institutions and Christian educators by providing empirical material that can contribute to teaching on Christian marriage, pastoral counselling and family ministry. The findings may demonstrate the importance of integrating biblical teachings on marriage with practical knowledge concerning communication, emotional intimacy and marital adjustment.

The study will also benefit researchers and students in the fields of theology, religious studies, counselling, psychology, sociology and family studies. It may provide a basis for further studies on honeymoon practices, newlywed adjustment, emotional intimacy, Christian marriage and marital stability in Nigeria and other African contexts.

Finally, the study may be relevant to Nigerian society generally, because stable marriages contribute to family functioning and social well-being. By identifying relational practices that may strengthen emotional connection during the early years of marriage, the study may contribute to broader efforts aimed at promoting healthy and sustainable family relationships.

1.7 Scope of the Study

The study focuses on honeymoon practices, emotional bonding and marital longevity among newlywed couples in selected Pentecostal churches in Lagos State.

Geographically, the study is limited to selected Pentecostal churches within Lagos State. The study will focus on couples who are in the early years of marriage, particularly those regarded as newlyweds according to the operational criteria adopted for the study.

Conceptually, the study covers three major variables: honeymoon practices, emotional bonding and marital longevity. Honeymoon practices will cover activities and experiences undertaken by couples during their honeymoon, including quality time, communication, recreation, travel, relaxation, spiritual activities and expressions of affection. Emotional bonding will focus on affection, trust, intimacy, communication, companionship, emotional support and perceived closeness. Marital longevity will focus on commitment, perceived stability, intention to remain married, satisfaction with the relationship and confidence in the continuation of the marriage.

The study does not attempt to examine every factor capable of influencing marital stability. Issues such as domestic violence, infertility, extramarital affairs, mental health disorders, detailed financial analysis and divorce litigation may be acknowledged where relevant but will not constitute the central variables of the investigation.

1.8 Limitations of the Study

The study may face limitations associated with the sensitivity of marital issues. Some respondents may be reluctant to provide completely open responses concerning emotional intimacy, sexual expectations, conflict or dissatisfaction because such matters are considered private.

Another possible limitation is social desirability bias. Since the respondents will be drawn from Pentecostal churches, some couples may provide answers that they consider consistent with Christian expectations rather than responses that fully represent their private marital experiences.

The study may also be affected by recall bias, particularly where respondents are asked to describe honeymoon experiences that occurred some time before the administration of the questionnaire. Respondents may remember particularly positive or negative experiences more strongly than ordinary experiences.

Financial and time constraints may limit the number of Pentecostal churches and couples that can be included in the study. Consequently, the findings may not be generalized to every Pentecostal church or every married couple in Lagos State.

Despite these limitations, appropriate sampling procedures, confidentiality assurances and carefully constructed research instruments will be employed to improve the reliability and usefulness of the findings.

1.9 Operational Definition of Terms

Honeymoon: The period immediately following marriage during which newly married couples spend time together to celebrate their union, relax, establish companionship and strengthen their relationship.

Honeymoon Practices: The specific activities, behaviours and experiences undertaken by couples during the honeymoon period, including travelling, recreation, communication, relaxation, prayer, shared meals, intimacy and quality time.

Honeymoon Quality: The extent to which the honeymoon experience is perceived by couples as enjoyable, meaningful, emotionally satisfying and beneficial to their relationship.

Emotional Bonding: The development of emotional closeness, affection, trust, security, companionship, empathy and psychological connection between spouses.

Marital Longevity: The ability and intention of a marital relationship to continue over an extended period while maintaining commitment, stability and satisfactory relational functioning.

Newlywed Couples: Couples who have been legally and/or religiously married for a relatively short period and who fall within the marriage-duration criterion established for this study.

Marital Stability: The degree to which spouses maintain commitment to their marriage, manage disagreements constructively and demonstrate an intention to continue the relationship.

Emotional Intimacy: The degree to which spouses are able and willing to share personal feelings, thoughts, fears, expectations and experiences with one another.

Pentecostal Churches: Christian churches that identify with Pentecostal theology and practice, particularly emphasis on the work of the Holy Spirit, spiritual gifts, prayer, biblical teaching and personal Christian experience.

Marital Adjustment: The process through which spouses adapt to each other’s personalities, expectations, responsibilities, habits, values and relational needs after marriage.

Newlywed Marital Adjustment: The process through which couples adapt to the practical, emotional, relational and spiritual demands of married life during the early years following their wedding.

Project – Honeymoon Practices, Emotional Bonding and Marital Longevity: An Assessment of Newlywed Couples in Selected Pentecostal Churches in Lagos State